Welcome back to another Play by Play summary of NBC’s The Blacklist!

We’re off with a game of father and son catch. Hopefully the kid is not named Carl. At least his Dad isn’t Tommy Wiseau.

So it looks like the plane from Breaking Bad finally broke apart over the skies of Washington D.C. or something, I’m pretty sure that is not how debris would fall to the ground after an airliner exploded.  Shoe, Pilot with no head and chair following by pretty much everything but the heavier parts. Also, I gotta say the CGI of the parts impacting the ground looks a bit sloppy.

So our Blacklister of the week is General Ludd? More like General Chud interrupting father/son bonding time but he doesn’t want to interrupt Lizzy hitting up Hipster Husband for some sexy shower time. Man, she should have flushed the toilet first for the classic bathroom humor effect. The FBI or whomever Surveillance Party Van is treated to yet another sexy party and he strokes his chin in approval. Get your mind out of the gutter dear reader.

Turns out it was a cargo plane, which explains why we were left hanging for the other shoe to drop. Lizzy’s “father” calls her cellphone and she does not seem to pleased to chat with him, until he pulls the old ‘I’m in the hospital’ card out of the deck. Lizzy’s nickname was Butterball? He has got teams and teams of medical staff. Teams for days.

Lizzy loves her Dad, no not Spader. Her ‘Dad’ that was most likely a plant put in by Spader. This guy may have to break bad and do something cooking, it’s that bad. Holy shit, ANDREW DICE CLAY is in this episode. WHAT! Ford Fairlane himself.

Weird cut where it looks like the doctor is refusing to hand a dying man a Snickers bar, but really it’s Lumbly. Man it’s never been Lumbly has it? I just can’t let go of that dream. He was the General at the end of Man of Steel though, I’m surprised no one has busted me on that. At least he is busting Spader’s balls on something per their usual dance. Spader reveals per usual that things are way above the FBIs understanding and they don’t feel very Batman about it.

Spader says that a ‘movement’ is responsible and everyone uncomfortably shifts. Is that their adult diaper signal check? The Blacklist is sponsored by the good folks at Depends.

Ludd takes his name from the Luddites, not to be confused with lite brites. Such artsy dudes that smashed up factories in the 19th century. So these guys are kind of like Anonymous but different, they prefer orange masks instead of Guy Fawkes masks.

Building a laptop bomb is serious and intense business, the FBI just figured out they’ve been bamboozled by pictures. CIA agent points out the obvious that they are in face the same person, well done. This Nathaniel Wolf character looks like that dude from Ally McBeal, no wait… is that the dude from Weeds? It looks like he might be General Ludd and he is a blonde now.

Commercial Break

Lizzy phones her old man, but is interrupted by Handsomeface Kramering his way into her office.

Lizzy does not follow his point, but per usual the FBI goes in guns blazing at the address. Man they really are bad at apprehending suspects. Lizzy is good at finding top secret crawl spaces in closets though.

Surprise, looks like the Wolf was a red herring… isn’t there a nursery rhyme about that? Also, big surprise Spader was right. Lizzy with the obvious statement “he changed his face!” Good job, way to save FACE with your superiors and colleagues.

Cut to Spader surrounded by money and some ladies, he brings up something about monkeys being rascals. Hopefully this isn’t a call back to his chess games…

Lizzy tries to go with the sassy approach but Spader replies in kind, until they just decide to hang out on the swing set. Spader is so happy that he was right he starts swinging and let’s Lizzy know that he is well too aware of her father’s cancer coming back and again for some reason she is surprised this dude knows. Lizzy isn’t too please but Spader keeps on swinging. Spaders gonna Spader.

The action shifts to South Beach and I hope we can bypass anything about their famous diet. Oh man, it’s the Dice Man! He’s a bit subdued and wow, this dude can act. For once Lizzy takes charge of the conversation and plays the hardass, good job making Andrew Dice Clay uncomfortable.

Spader pulls off an elaborate ruse and the Dice man is left holding his dick in his hand, OOOOHH!

More dramatic moving B-roll as we shift back to Washington D.C. Lizzy and her FBI pals are trying to figured out how someone with a different face could get credentials to be a pilot, since they are in a well funded separatists group that has highly trained hackers. So it turns out our terrorist mastermind has a vendetta agenda, boohoo.

Commercial Break

Our Blonde Blacklister is rather smug and full of himself or his giant infant diaper as he walks into the airport. He sweet talks the gate agent and gets down to terrorism business with his laptop which looks like a Dell circa 10 years ago. My mistake on this well funded/equipped organization. It must be his lucky day, he gets a first class seat and gets to blow up the plane. Hmm, he didn’t fully zip up his laptop will that come back to bit him in the ass dear reader?

CIA agent wants Reagan on lockdown, the airport not the dead president.

Back to our Blacklister, he’s playing ignorant and nice with a hedge fund guy. Aww man, the father and son duo from the opening didn’t make it. General Ludd really wants to just tickle fight this old financial bastard. He manages to convinced the nice gate agent from before to put his laptop bomb on the plane. Don’t we have a rule against this kind of stuff?

Hipster Husband phones Lizzy but he is mysteriously packing for something. Hipster Husband is heading to check on Lizzy’s Dad who is apparently much more sick then he let on. Zoom in full force into the airport! Handsomeface takes charge and his voice cracks, he must really hate the sight of cops standing around being lazy.

COME ON. That was TERRIBLE CGI and a worse reaction to a plane explosions!

In fact why this blog is late so I could get a screen grab.

Seriously folks that was borderline circa late 90s USA programming.

We got to Lizzy’s Dad who has a special vistor, Spader himself. He appears to know Sam.

Commercial Break

Lizzy tries to play hooky and the FBI isn’t having it, should have brushed up on those Ferris Bueller skills. All flights are grounded and right, they are all General Ludd. General Ludd has a storage unit that the FBI managed to track down.

We’re back with Spader and Sam, looks like they might be old buddies. Spader describes Lizzy as soft then hard then soft again, not really sure where that was going. Looks like Sam adopted Lizzy to cover for Spader. Spader puts the kibosh on Sam telling Lizzy the truth, I think he might get his pillow fluffed if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile in the storage unit, Handsomeface and Lizzy are trying to understand this terrorist nerds and their mad D&D skills. Turns out the whole thing is an elaborate ruse to pull a heist. Yawn. These dudes must have really enjoyed Blackdog.

After an emotional phone call with Sam, Lizzy hides some tears from Handsomeface who is judging her ability to get on a plane to see her dying father.

Confirmed. Finally, Spader is Lizzy’s pop-pop. He gets a bit awkwardly close to chat with Sam.

Called it Spader goes for the pillow kill. Not easy for him to do at all, Spader is such a great anti-hero in this series. Man then he gives him the Fredo kiss on the forehead. Hipster Husband walks in just in time to find out that Sam bought the farm. Spader gives Lizzy a ring and its a bit awkward. “Hey I just killed your adopted father.” Spader grabs a coffee with Hipster Husband, who doesn’t appear to know who exactly Spader is and Spader is great at playing this for laughs.

Lizzy knows she is adopted though? Wow this is an awkward exchange between the two, maybe building to some kind of dramatic showdown?

Back to the longest car chase I’ve seen in a while. General Ludd pulls the old I can drive in reverse down an alley and disappear into a protest card and then blow up the money after sneaking something out of it. What is this 1989 Batman?!

Spader, yet again is steps ahead of everyone else and intercepts our Blacklister with Dembe in tow. Spader straight up robs General Ludd and sells him out to the FBI.

Slow motion funeral to stretch out the ending of this episode, i’m guessing it is partially a family reunion for Lizzy.

Spader gets access to the program he was seeking, he is use to getting what he wants. Looks like he is searching for his wife or daughter?

Lizzy drops by the counterfeiting club as seen prior, Spader deflects with some Dad talk about Sam. Lizzy finally agrees to hang out on the swings and we’re through for the week folks.