Last week was a bye week for beautiful people who don’t really spy that well and occasionally solve a crime mystery, so I hope we are in for a treat this time around.

Wrigley, PA home of Wrigley gum and ghost stories of the crying man. Mr. Cross, who is not Crossbones, goes for a look around the campsite and it didn’t turn out so well. Man, I hope that car battery was a duralast otherwise good luck with the warranty. So our brave scout troops, who are about to defecate themselves, are on the hunt for their scout leader who has been watching too much X-Files or The Craft.

Treadmill action on the plane, Phil does glisten, like a sexy LMD. He mysteriously does not need to see a doctor, pretty much ever. Handsomeface is not happy with the companions super cool gun making. Apparently, they enjoy Handsomeface impressions. Skye still has not figured out why S.H.I.E.L.D. does not trust her again yet. Companion number two walks in and does yet another Handsomeface impression, speak of the devil and he will awkwardly walk in.

Looks like a field-trip for the team and we have to open to hood to deduct that it blew out the battery shaped hole in the hood. Looks like our scout leader is dead and light as a feather stiff as a board. Agent Blake at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ?

Uh oh they deactivated the floating man! Where is David Bowie as Nicola Tesla when you need him?

Commercial Break

Skye rubs it in again that she is a douchebag and they still don’t trust her, maybe a good call would be to stop pointing that out and probably don’t make fun of Cap in front of Coulson. Phil feels bad for Skye but Handsomeface isn’t having it. May offer cookies to our Junior Scout master and I think he may have dropped a few cookies in his pants. Overtalking with the companions, its like listening to excited nerds on a podcast. Turns out Junior Scout Master was clean, but not his pants.

Uh oh, looks like another event. Is this The Happening but with lightning instead of trees? Why is the short cut always off-road AND through a farmer’s field. Hopefully this barn isn’t full of zombies. May is stronger than a truck and can kick doors with a single blow. Turns out these guys are both firefighters and first responders when the invasion from The Avengers went down. One of the dudes is hording some Chitauri tech that is quite glowy and fancy. I thought all that stuff shutdown after the portal blew? Next week on Chitauri County Choppers.

Commercial Break

Oh man, I thought they were going to probe his butt with the Batteries Not Included robot…

The A-Team is on the trail of the firefighters it looks like they interrupted poker night. Back with the companions it turns out these guys; brains are exploding out of their heads. Mr. Diaz does not look okay, like his brain is cooking like a potato. Phil is talking to Mr. Baked Potato head but all he can hear is humming.

Chitauri helmet, do you speak it? The helmet is infected with Chitauri germs, maybe Chitauri syphilis?  Phil is going for the man on man talking him down again and pulls his earpiece. This dude is the most humane LMD of all time or just like super well amazing cloned Phil. Phil knows he died and was gone, not here anymore. I thought Phil was going to cry for a second, ok that was a pretty awesomely done scene. Decent emotional impact.

Everyone is being scanned for infection, looks like the away team is all clean. Bio-hazard helmet is heading back with the team, man this helmet is a sneaky villain. I wonder if the Chitauri can self replicate you know, since the Chitauri are shapeshifters in the comics. May is onto Phil and his physical therapy.

Phil just walks off the whole floating object in the air it looks like Jemma is infected. Man, Phil straight up gave her the Outbreak treatment.

Commercial Break

Awkward science club doesn’t know how to deal with impending death. Simmons, Jemma? She has to find a solution to her own disease otherwise you know take down the whole plane. Let’s try it out on a rat first and no deal, at least she has something to eat.

Handsomeface warns up to Skye a bit, bounding over their common ability to absolutely not do anything to help the situation. Go team! Handsomeface breaks the news they may need to jettison the cute scientist, which S.H.I.E.L.D. command does too. Haha, Coulson pulls the old fake tunnel and static early 90s cellphone gag. Classic.

They just wanted to travel through all of time and space and now it’s time for an argument. NOW KISS.

So the Chitauri was the carrier and was Typhoid Mary. Fitz goes into the germlab to help, go team! Her comes everyone else, it suddenly feels like we are watching ER.

Handsomeface can’t bare to watch, Skye doesn’t seems to get it and May’s hand might be hovering near the jettison button. Are they going to kll another rat, yup algernon doesn’t get his flowers. Now that the team is assembled they need to head out and Fitz gets clocked with a fire extinguisher. Wait the rat isn’t dead!

Jemma, damnit now we have to use the flying car! FREAKING DON’T LET ME DOWN AoS.

Commercial Break

Handsomeface pushes aside the nerd and takes the barely on parachute jump. Will he catch her before she turns the ocean into so many fishsticks? Mayhaps dear read, mayhaps. Jemma made it and Phil gives them a light rollicking for their trouble. Handsomeface thinks that committing suicide was the honorable choice and he also knows that they all do impressions of him.

May rolls in to be the conscience on Phil’s shoulder, again with the grilling  about his health. Look he is an LMD or perhaps mostly a robot. Phil made his own doctor’s appointment and he knows something is off. Whoa, May wants Phil to take off his shirt. I hope he doesn’t have three nipples now or something. Okay so he has a huge wound and it looks a bit lower than where I recall it being from the movie.

Are the scars a red herring?

Awww touching nerd love and we’re out for the week this dear reader.

You almost forgot the stinger, huh? Yeah me too. We are at the Sandbox with Agent Blake, he tries to bust Phil’s balls and Phil has zero fucks to give about that. Man, Blake just touched Lola it appears he has some balls as well.