We open up on what appears to be Turner and Hooch checking into a hotel. But it is apparently a professional swimmer and probably Dexter’s biological father. Who really hates body hair.

Lizzy is in the evidence room and is a sneaky Dewey Decimal user and manages to gives the file clerk the slip.

Her husband is named perhaps Angel something or other, maybe he is a former luchador. Spader wants to see Lizzy alone and handsomeface is onto Lizzy’s investigation of her hipster husband.

Dembe is both a badass, a personal calendar and scheduler. Spader kind of looks like Colonel Sanders in the opening of this episode, he might be ready to sip a mint julep.

Something always happens at court and Spader knows what is going down, he apparently has no fucks to give about wearing white after labor day.

Back to Dexter’s swim team father, he might be getting ready to break bad and cook some meth.

So apparently the bad guy in court is some kind of top kidnapper, but most likely he partners with Dexter’s swimteam breaking bad father.

One of the juror’s apparently has IBS and upon the trigger words “my son” let loose with a fury that could tremble the bowels of the gods themseleves. Oh man, it really doesn’t pay to testify against super criminals. They will kidnap and maybe bad touch you like a dentist. Lizzy appears flabbergasted after leaving her witness with people she did not know that they may have actually been pretending to be cops.

Man, Spader is really living it up with his private jet and criminalizing it up on government time. Spader looks like he is channeling Zack Morris with that fancy cellphone/walkie talkie.

Back to body hairless Dexter’s dad. Apparently he likes taking pictures, so maybe a touch of one hour photo in there? He just covered the witness in vinegar. Stinky.

Angel Station is a place, gotcha. Lizzy doesn’t use Google, or even Bing… she used ewe? What is that like an updated Web Crawler?

Grandpa glasses hipster tries to act all smooth and cool, turns out the suspicious date was a vacation that he probably murdered someone during. According to Hipster Husband, Lizzy is an open book. If Lizzy is an open book then she is probably more like a reader’s digest.

Well, at least the FBI can track vans. Dexter’s dad is a tarp man, hopefully he keep all of them securely fastened down.

Spader actually run’s a pizza parlor, it’s his main business. I just cheersed the TV since Spader got a beer.

Put your fingers in the tub Lizzy, sniff the acid that was used to dissolve your star witness. Better get a roto-rooter for that tub and to snake the toilet too.

Commercial Break One

We have our main villain for the week, the Stew Maker. Apparently he is Irish and loves potatoes and perhaps the tooth fairy. Spader does not seem quite so on this episode, it might be the white suit.

Court case bad guy king of has terrible sideburns, huge gap. 2/10 would shave them off. So the government has basically just trumped up charges to get this guy to crack. He’s not impressed with their protection as we can assume he would rather not become stew.

Boom goes the helicopter, looks like the local boys club just blew up a helicopter kidnapped Lizzy and sub par sideburns dude.

Spader has taken off his depower suit and is now back to brown to bring the FBI down, man I think he just Occam’s razor-ed handsomeface. Mic drop, but really why not just state that out right instead of dancing around naming the theory.

Commercial Break Two

We are back and see a train for no reason, handsomeface does not trust Spader at all. Spader walks in and just drops his nuts right on the bar. They are that big and allow him to head right back to the private dinning room. I don’t care if that man is some kind of major crime lord but he really needs to shave off his sideburns. They don’t grow in this area.

Handsomeface is decent at undercover, Spader is able to provide new lives for criminals as well. He is a jack of all criminal trade.

Spader has crafted an excellent master-plan to betray his new friends, they write his playing off criminals so well that it is admirable. The Stew Maker’s name is Cornish. Might as well called him Corned Beef Stew (I know they are different just work with me here).

Spader has no issue with boosting evidence from the FBI, and you know what they are too stupid to notice. The Stew Maker took Lizzy to the cabin in the woods. Apparently her attempt at getting away was to tell the hairless psycho that she has a name and a husband. Should have gone with a foster dog person, might have gained a bit more ground.

Commercial Break Three

We are back to Spader’s big day out, that is some awful green screen behind them. Man Spader is smooooth. Apparently the Stew Maker is a fan of Ironsides and want Lizzy to roleplay with him. Ah, so the Stew Maker can speak. I was afraid Lizzy would just keep talking for a while and get made into a less annoying stew.

Ok, so she thought that this guy would feel bad that people have a nickname for him. The Stew Maker is really into chemistry and has a family. Way to go Walt, you’ve opened up a whole new evil opportunity for chemists everywhere.

So this guy is pretty chatty for someone that dissolves people. The Stew Maker was told to make her suffer, and wow oh wow. Totally stuck a huge needle into a nerve cluster. Probably, why you shouldn’t get chatty with your torturer.

Spader wants to stop and get some meat for a BBQ, the Stew Maker is all creepy Red Dragon named now and looks like he gives himself chemical kisses or something weird. Damn, at least Lizzy managed a sucker punch in. Oh man, we have our self a Tommy Lee Jones Fugitive search on our hands.

So this dude is suppose to be totally professional but goes from cleaned to naked assassin overnight. You’d think he would at least put an orange vest and some pants on before wandering into the woods. He just took a picture for Lizzy so he can update his twitter feed. Spader with the frying pan hit for the win. SERIOUSLY, pants on the creepy named guy. Oh man, Spader is going to make stew instead of BBQ.

Commercial Break Four

Oh no, Spader is giving the Stew Maker an allegory story death. I dunno Stanley is pretty wacked out and into the blood tub he goes. I think Lizzy just pooped herself. The Stew Maker really did have a facebook and Spader had a personal vendetta. Hence the story, and it looks like handsomeface might cut Lizzy a bit of slack. She’s had a pretty fucked run of luck lately. Spader might be a monster but he’s got your back Lizzy. I wouldn’t push it. Handsomeface knows that Spader probably had sub par side burns wacked. At least Lizzy husband has dropped the grandpa hipster glasses and his solution is to take a vacation to the place they like to go, most likely so he can do some kind of top secret visit.

Final Thoughts

It seems like they took the spotlight after Spader a bit and I can’t say that it held up so well. The other characters are written not quite up to par with our debonair master criminal and can come off a bit cliche. I did enjoy the scene when Spader made Handsomeface sink or swim and he managed to pull his ass out of so many fires, but that was a quick fleeting scene. Overall there was a tiny bit of improvement.