With Dexter ending with a whimper and Breaking Bad wrapping up, the void of devlish Anti-Hero needs a new cipher. We open on James Spader sliding into the lobby of an FBI building dressed to the nines. He states his name and the FBI is all over him like white on rice, things escalated quite quickly. Next a walk and talk with Carl Lumby of M.A.N.T.I.S., Alias and Martian Manhunter fame, a lot of Patriot Act buzzwords, turns out Spader is quite the terrorist savant and makes the FBI look like so many chumps. Now we have our Clarice, Hannibal needs his FBI playmate.

Clarice has a stable relationship and does not like wearing pee coated socks, she was running late until a CGI helicopter flew way too close to the building. Her name is Elizabeth Keene (sp?) and apparently she is some kind of profiler savant as well. The FBI has a top secret post office and they keep Spader  in what appears to be some kind of Swedish future storage unit that looks entirely too expensive to hold someone that does not posses super-powers. We’re already off to some Silence of the Lambs banter, he knows she has changed her hair. Spader likes to sniff hair? I hate to call it here, but I get a feeling that he is probably her father. The rookie shows up the five year veteran and seriously that dude is her father.

Husband/support character seems to not understand that as an FBI rookie you can totally be pulled into classified cases. I’m glad she has teeth and isn’t afraid to tell the boys to stand down but I’m pretty sure that there are protocols in place as to who is in-charge in the field? Is that Jesse from Breaking Bad? Nope probably just a trap, that is a ramming dump truck of a trap. They need the kid alive right? I don’t think you should be putting that many bullets into the truck after ramming it over. Elizabeth is going to find her, barring that they don’t execute her. Good guys don’t look at explosions, they jump off bridges. That was actually pretty damn smart, must be his five years experience that gives him the leg over.

First commercial break, I’m going to get another beer. I’ll be honest, so far it isn’t that bad. Not great but not bad. I’m hoping the rest of the episode is going to win me over. Otherwise I am really glad that Spader was cast as Ultron.

Oh god. NO. NO. Seriously not the Quid Pro Quo, come on The Blacklist. Not like this, not like this. So wait, does everyone know that Spader is her father or? Thankfully they let Spader out of the box so he can do some acting. Show is picking up, or maybe pickling up. Turns out the kidnapped girl’s father is a General with a checkered past. Shit, it turns out the FBI is on the clock, they need to actually do some work instead of foreshadowing Spader is the the father, despite what Maury says. Spader struts like a peacock, damn the FBI never tips, c’mon Spader. NEVER. People keep asking about The Chemist, but man they really need to tread lightly if they don’t know who they are looking for. Points to Elizabeth for actually putting her life ahead of her job and going home. Oh whoops, looks like Tom is kind of in trouble. Apparently, this terrorist doesn’t take to kindly to his plans being foiled so I think he is going to Mr. Blonde her Husband’s ear off. Oh no, right in the baby maker (good thing they are adopting).

Second commercial break. Still working on the beer from the previous commercial, I have to admit the plot swerve there was pretty decent. Take note recent Quantico graduates if you are adopting a kid with your spouse while hunting a terrorist with some dude that is most likely your father, tell your spouse to stay at a hotel. Local news a Juggalo was involved with the death of Grandparents. Sigh.

Oh, he IS her husband. Oh man, she just took that lamp to task. Holy neck stab Batman. Ok, Elizabeth just went up a couple notches big time that was some Vic Mackey style cojones. Apparently the FBI frowns upon neck stabbing, but they are willing to let her and LORD ALMIGHT James Spader is out the window like Spider-man with a gapping neck wound.  Of course Spader knows he is chipped, hats off to him, GOOD GOD what is on the that dude’s neck. Seriously… that is some decent make up, I had to just set my beer down. He is giving the US a plague back? Wait is this fucker trying to Smallpox blanket us? Little know fact the FBI gets in the Zoo for free.

Commercial break three. Beer low, morale high.

Foreign bomb expert cliche and GO. It sucks that he has an orange vest that is going to make it difficult for him to escape. Did Elizabeth just offer to cut that little girl, oh touch the scar. Eastern European runs away with trackpants and bomb. Gray SWEATSHIRT, seriously… not BRIGHT ORANGE vest? Ah, he was Urkarian should have know, dude was badass. Spader is laying his dick on the table sweatervest and all. Uh-oh, title of the show name drop. The FBI tries for a dick measuring list contest and they lose.

Elizabeth just found the secret floorboard and it has cash and passports and her husband is a, ruh roh. International man of douchery. BAM, they end it on a 99 Problems cover. Brilliant. Okay, let me think of  a rating scale.

8/12 for the 12 pack of beers, it looks like this show has some potential as long as Spader gets the chance to keep upstaging everyone.

So many William Defoe commercials do we have a chance for an Agent Smecker cameo?