It is that time again when we knock on the doorstep of the summer and see if the fun event movies can come out and play. Not generally awards season favorites, summer films promise spectacle and excitement like an amusement park ride complete with junk food and maybe some vomiting depending on how much shaky cam is involved. This summer is looking like it could be a real doozy so I am doing what I did last year and posting the movies I am most looking forward to and then at the end of the season I’ll look back on what turned out to be the best. Typical favorite list caveats are in place: Just because these are the 10 I am looking most forward to, they are not the only ones I am looking for and if something you are looking forward to isn’t on the list it doesn’t mean that I think it sucks or that you suck or that your mom sucks. We welcome discussion down below but please keep it civil and include your own picks if you disagree with mine. Also, the fact that I like women is not in question based on any of these choices so you can put that hate speech right back in your pocket. Thanks a bunch. I’ve included trailers where available.  Let’s roll.

10. Total Recall (Aug 3): Right off the bat I am going with a choice that will make a lot of eyes roll. Look, the original Total Recall was incredible and still holds up today. It doesn’t need to be remade. But they did it anyway and not for nothing but watching the trailer has made me think that it has some pretty big potential to be awesome. I am still kind of skeptical but the trailer looks pretty cool and I have high hopes.

 

9. Expendables 2 (Aug 17): This one isn’t as much of a no-brainer as it sounds. On paper Stallone, Schwarzenneger, Willis, Statham, Van Damme, Li, Couture, Crewes, Lundgren and Goddamn Chuck Norris sounds pretty much unbeatable regardless of how retarded the story may or may not be. But rumors of a PG-13 rating by demand of Norris suggest that the movie could be nerfed into lameness. The first one was pretty good but didn’t live up to potential. This one has an even better cast and could make up for what the first lacked…but not by taking out violence. Honestly, all I am looking for in a movie like this is the world’s biggest action stars killing together or killing each other. I need the most extreme example of this possible or it is a fail on general principle. So this could be a big let down if they drop the rating to PG-13. Hopefully bloodthirstier heads will prevail and it will be awesome.

8. Dark Shadows (May 11): There have been grumblings around the internet from people who are fond of the old show who are appalled by the new comedy focused direction of the Dark Shadows remake. I think these people either have a head injury or don’t remember the original show. There is a serious way to do Dark Shadows but that would probably be unintentionally silly and overwrought. Here, they are accepting that and making it funny on purpose which seems to work out pretty well in the trailer. It looks like it has the tone of Death Becomes Her and that is just fine with me. Besides, we have quite enough over serious and self important vampire dramas floating around today. A good sendup is just what the genre needs. Add to that the fact it is written by Seth Grahame-Smith who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and I am very interested.

7. GI Joe: Retaliation (June 29): I liked the first GI Joe for what it was despite some annoyances like a Cobra Commander that looked and sounded nothing like he should have. In general it was a pretty decent representation of the cartoon with all its goofiness intact. While internet malcontents seem to have hated it, it made enough money to justify a sequel and it looks like that sequel has taken to heart criticisms of the first one. This one is made up of a whole new cast of characters outside of Duke, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (also Zartan but I don’t know if he is just going to be in disguise the whole time) and with the Rock playing Roadblock and Bruce Willis playing the original Joe, I think we are in pretty good hands. If they keep the tone correct and provide enough goofy and over the top action I think we are in good hands.

6. Ted (July 13): Seth McFarlane’s live action directorial debut, Ted tells the story of what happens when a boy gets his wish for his teddy bear to come to life but then when he grows up the bear is still hanging around being a magic teddy bear and screwing with the guy’s life. McFarlane voices the cgi bear opposite Mark Walberg who looks to be back in The Other Guys comedy form. The Thunder Song in the red band trailer has me sold by itself but  the rest of it looks pretty funny. A concept like this can fizzle pretty quickly if mishandled but everything I have seen about about it thus far looks promising. Time will tell and fingers are crossed.

5. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22): Based on Seth Grahame-Smith’s book of the same name, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter re-imagines the Great Emancipator as a crusader against a cabal of vampires that plague him throughout his life. The book maintained historical accuracy with the vampire business sprinkled in to form an on going conspiracy. I hope the movie does this as well as it managed to ground the concept and keep it from coming off too silly. This seems like an odd thing to say about an absurd premise but playing it straight worked well for the material and managed to be fairly informative about Lincoln’s life. The action in the movie might be off-putting depending on the viewer’s sensibilities but I liked director Timur Bekmambetov’s Wanted and it looks like the action will be playing out the same way here so I feel like we are in good hands. If you hate Wanted or Nightwatch then it doesn’t look like much is going to change your mind about the director here…except that it is Abe Lincoln kicking vampires’ assess. Good or bad it is going to be something to see.

4. Moonrise Kingdom (May 25): This one (and all of the rest of the films on the list) appeared on my most anticipated of the year list and my excitement has really only grown since then. Again, this is going to be on for Wes Anderson fans as it doesn’t look like there is much here for people who don’t care for him or his style. Working off a script he co-wrote with Roman Coppola, who also co-wrote the Darjeeling Limited with him, Moonrise Kingdom doesn’t look like it is bringing back many Anderson regulars outside of Bill Murray and Jason Schwartzman. With a cast that includes Edward Norton, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Keitel and Bob Balaban the absences, while noted, do not look like they are hurting the film a bit. This tale of escaped campers in love and the search to find them looks like vintage Anderson and a hell of a lot of fun.

3. Prometheus (June 8): Ridley Scott returning to the Alien universe for a movie that takes place before the first film and ties in to the series in some way is enormously exciting. That it looks as cool as it does makes the whole thing even better. The cast is awesome, the effects and cinematography look beautiful and it is Ridley Scott returning to the Alien universe. There is really nothing more to say aside from how awful the wait is to June.

2. Dark Knight Rises (July 20): In my list for the year, I said that the order of the top two could change according to my mood and it did, which is why you find that list’s number 1 at number 2. This doesn’t reflect badly on Batman or how I think that film will be but given that we haven’t seen any new trailers or all that much new material of any kind to hype up the excitement lately so that coupled with how long the wait until July is has contributed to the drop. Come on though, it is the conclusion to Nolan’s thus far incredible run on Batman so of course it is one of the most anticipated of the summer.

1.The Avengers (May 4): By way of counterpoint to the Dark Knight Rises, the release date for the Avengers is right around the corner and the marketing is in full effect. Marketing itself doesn’t have anything to do with the placement on the list but the contents of that marketing does because the Avengers looks incredible. Every new scene I see makes it look better and better. It is a pretty major undertaking and there is high risk of failure with so many heroes in one movie but if anyone can do it is director Joss Whedon. If the copious amounts of material on display in the various trailers is to be believed, then it looks like Whedon has pulled it off. We will know fairly soon but I have total faith in this one.