The Kids Are All Right is an amazing film. It is at turns funny,dramatic, challenging and uncomfortable but it is always compelling and engaging.

Co-written and directed by Lisa Cholodenko, The Kids Are All Right is a look what happens when the children of a lesbian couple decide they want to meet and get to know their sperm donor. I say look because it isn’t necessarily about that nor does it follow a particular plot or storyline. In On Writing, Stephen King talks about his preference to take interesting characters and put them in a situation and watch what they do. The Kids Are All Right feels very much like this and I would be very surprised if there was an ending in mind when Stuart Blumberg and Cholodenko sat down to write this and if there was then they did a phenomenal job of keeping it from feeling that way.

Jules (Julianne Moore) and Nic (Annette Bening) have been together for 20 years and have two children Joni (Mia Wasikowska) and Laser (Justin Hutcherson) both by the same donor. They each carried one of the children so they are biologically half siblings. The summer before Joni is off to college, Laser talks her into finding and contacting their biological father as he is too young to do it and she’s just turned 18. She is reluctant to do it but she ultimately does leading to a meeting with Paul (Mark Ruffalo) an alternative sort of cat who owns his own organic garden and restaurant and is something of a free spirit who has never been married and is kind of coasting through life without much meaning or importance. The kids meet him and while Joni is more taken with him than Laser, they decide they want to have some kind of relationship with him. Their moms in turn decide that if their kids are going to spend time with him then they should meet him and after he hires Jules to landscape his backyard to give her a head start on her new business their lives become even more intertwined.

Rather than feeling plotted, the events of the film unfold in a way that feels natural and organic. You can anticipate some of the events and character choices but it is mostly only through the trajectory earlier events and choices have set them upon. There are many moments in the film where the characters could have gone in any number of directions and there is a real sense of tension and suspense as to how it is going to turn out. This gives the whole of the film the feeling of real life as if you are just watching a family as it hits a bump in the road and how it handles the ensuing rumbles. As with life there isn’t always a clear path and the characters all have issues they are dealing with personally that informs their interactions with each other and often these motivations are less black and white than a lot of movies make them out to be.

There are a lot of themes at play here and they all hit their mark. As someone who was adopted I found a lot of resonance in Joni and Laser and the desire to know where you come from biologically while still being happy with the family you have. Nic and Jules’s reluctance and worry about the effect this will have on their kids and their relationship rings equally true.  There is upheaval in Paul’s life as a result of this and while he was also interested in meeting, he leaves the film a different person than he entered. Some of the events in the movie are a large part of why I have not tried to contact my biological parents despite my strong curiosity.

It isn’t all about the kids though as the examination of Nic and Jules’s marriage is as realistic and spot on a portrayal as I have seen. After 20 years they have settled into a routine and resentments are starting to bubble up to the surface with Nic feeling put upon as the primary breadwinner and Jules feeling a lack of consideration and attention from Nic. They are sort of floundering in a routine that neither is satisfied with and it all comes to a head here.

One of the most impressive aspects of the film though is that while there are heavy subjects and themes playing out, the movie itself doesn’t really feel all that heavy and I think that is why the moments of uncomfortable awkwardness are so effective. It isn’t all dark and moody, it just feels real and Cholodenko shows how much faith she has in the material and her actors to let moments play as long as they need to and allow the audience to feel the same discomfort the characters are going through. But there are plenty of light moments as well and the film is ultimately very, very funny.

The performances in the film are all pretty much perfect. All of the leads feel very real and natural in their characters and the interactions between them reflect that. You don’t feel like you are watching people recite lines memorized from a script but rather feel as if you are watching real conversations playing out with people who have known each other forever. Bening and Moore feel very much like a couple who have been together for 20 years and their body language is exactly right. When they look at each other those looks seem to have the weight of their years together behind them. Similarly, Joni and Laser feel very much like brother and sister. Laser doesn’t really look 15 but  Hutcherson’s performance convinces nonetheless. I could go on but the bottom line is that the interactions and performances feel very real and the actors in this movie are flawless in their execution.

Conclusion [10 out of 10]

I really couldn’t ask for more from this movie and I wouldn’t change anything about it. It is very funny and clever, brutally awkward and uncomfortable and very deep and moving while not going anywhere especially dark and never brooding. This movie is about life and contains all the flavors found there. It isn’t really a message movie and never preaches a particular point but rather shows all the different angles of the situations. Something so fair and even handed is remarkable even without the expert directing, acting and dialogue. There might be those turned off by some of the subject matter and those who are uncomfortable with the relationships portrayed but I think those people are really missing out on something wonderful. This is truly a great film.